Thanksgiving and Hallowe’en Oneliners

Its Friday again and I hope you’ve had a great week.  This weekend is our Thanksgiving and we’re having turkey dinner at my place.  There will be 10 of us which will includes my brother and his girlfriend who are here from British Columbia.  We haven’t all gotten together with him here for Thanksgiving, or Christmas in years so it’ll be special.

I’ve made some pine cone turkey name place holders but because things have been busy I can’t share them with you right now.  I should have some pics for you by the end of the weekend.  They are cute though.

In the meantime here are some corney little Hallowe’en one-liners….you might want to share with your children and/or grandchildren.  Have a lovely weekend.   Judi

Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
To improve his bite…

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite…

Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy…

How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
With scare spray…

What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck…

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately…

Why don’t skeletons ever go out on the town?
Because they don’t have any body to go out with…

What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?
Booberries…

What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball…

What is a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangsgiving…

What would a monster’s psychiatrist be called?
Shrinkenstein…

What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
“Do you believe in people?”

What do you call someone who puts poison in a person’s corn flakes?
A cereal killer…

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They’re so wrapped up in themselves…

What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
Dead ends…

What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?
Fasten your sheet belts

What is a vampire’s favorite mode of transportation?
A blood vessel…

What is a ghost’s favorite mode of transportation?
A scareplane…

What type of dog do vampire’s like the best?
Bloodhounds…

What is a ghoul’s favorite flavor?
Lemon-slime…

What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich…

What is a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument?
A trombone…

What do birds give out on Halloween night?
Tweets…

Why do vampires need mouthwash?
They have bat breath…

What’s a vampire’s favorite fast food?
A guy with very high blood pressure

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1 Comment

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One response to “Thanksgiving and Hallowe’en Oneliners

  1. Hi Judi. What cute little jokes! lol Have a wonderful dinner with all your family. Are you doing all the cooking? Can’t wait to see your little placecard holders, they do sound cute!!
    Be a sweetie,
    Shelia 😉

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